Orual's Judgement

Greetings to you whom I have watched for so long and so little. My true name is not fit to be shared among such a company as this, but you will know me nevertheless. I am your God Within, and from your eyes and heart I have witnessed much. I knew all of what you desired to say, and it was I that wrote the summary of it you have just read to us. The Gods have many pressing matters, especially at this time and season, and we would not have had time to indulge you in slowly removing the gilding from your Lie. You accuse us of stealing from you, taking something that did not belong to us. How preposterous! What have you ever owned? Is there anything that is truly yours? All that you thought you possessed was merely lent to you, and of that nothing remains. Nothing except who is standing before this court today. You thought your story was yours! That you owned the truth, and could share it and be comforted. But you did not own the story, and the truth was made broken in your mind. It was not a true story, for your hatred had bent and twisted it. I know this because I have witnessed it, and felt and borne your anguish for all of these years. How I tried to speak to you! How much of your suffering I bore in your stead! I protected Orual from the Queen, until she had her time to speak today. And despite all my efforts, it seemed you learned nothing. The priest I had sent to you, to tell you your true story, you rebelled against with great fury, and created an abomination instead. The truth you built in your mind can never be the truth that exists outside of it, and you forbade me to correct you. You were jealous and selfish still, and though it was not out of a desire for finery and wealth, the truth remains as pure.

It is because of my unique position that I have been chosen as your judge. It could not have been any other way. Our law dictates that all who are to be judged must be judged by their Inner God. I pronounce Nothing! That is my judgement. You may leave this room and walk (and you must walk) to what awaits you in the next. This may bring some offense to the other Gods, but they cannot revoke my right. Not as the one who bore witness to all your life, for that price the authority of my arbitration is absolute. But my fellow Gods are obligated, of course, to an explanation. We, who were made divine, are trying to judge those who were not for being so flawed. We may as well scourge the rivers for being wet, and the sun bright! Orual rejected me, but I cannot fault her, however much I suffered for it. She was ignorant until now of her wrongdoing. But now she has learned of her errors, and I shall again accompany her after this trial concludes. I knew what would come of being her guide, every God Within understands the price that must be paid. And I will continue to pay that price until things are made right. But as for justice? There can be no justice. Orual's Greek friend was quite right in that. But there will be a penance, paid without any of us lifting a finger. I am sorry to disappoint Zeus and Hades, who delight in Sisyphean punishment. But her own inevitable guilt, until she learns to live with and accept it, will suffice as payment to me. I have spoken with Istra, and she counseled this judgement. How much more it would hurt her to see Orual suffer? Enough, I say. Let us be done with this trial.