Till We Have Love

In class we found ourselves in an ethical dilemma of a real-life scenario presented to us by Dr. Redick to help us make sense of the relationship dynamic between Psyche and Orual.
He explained how Orual’s love for Psyche was mired by insecurity and the need for control, which manifested in Orual’s persistent manipulation of Psyche and her claim on exclusive knowledge of what is best for Psyche. Orual’s defense is her ever-present love for Psyche.
Yet, how can love exist if the expression is control, and the basis is fear? Can love exist in such a clouded foundation?
The scenario to parallel Psyche’s dilemma is this: a close friend of yours is threatening to harm themselves if you do not do what they tell you to do.
Tension broke out all over the room as students tried to put themselves in Psyche’s shoes, many of us having been put in similar situations in real life. It is an uncomfortable question, but it forces one to consider the role of friendship with an insecure and troubled person. The sad truth is that this is a reality. Many people suffer through life without love, like Orual, silently, until they can take no more, at which point they make such threats in a desperate cry for help.
Orual thought that she was acting out of love to protect her sister. She thought she would be better off dead than delusional and alone, as Orual perceived her to be. However, as someone in the class remarked, “there is no love in that behavior.” It puts the other person in an impossible situation.

A common understanding of love is equivalent with self-sacrifice. However, Orual’s self-harm was not bloodshed for the sake of Psyche, it was a coercive power play. In the end, Orual sees Psyche transformed into a goddess, and the radiation of her presence compels her to admit that she would give her life for Psyche. This is not the first time that Orual offers to take on punishment, slavery, or physical harm, as we see Orual unnecessarily bear the pain of guilt for Psyche throughout the myth. However, this time Orual explains that this willingness is not conditional, leading us to believe that her sacrifice would be out of love, for the first time, self-sacrificial. Her love for Psyche at this point in the story is not for her own gain. She used to see Psyche as her reason for living- to be her caretaker, teacher, father, mother, and more. Here she realizes that Psyche is her own being. Her language is not possessive; she surrenders herself and Psyche to the Greater One who comes for her.

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